The Never rules

  • Never try to explain yourself.

Apple didn’t give a list of reasons why they killed the earphone jack. They had their reasons and then just went ahead and did it. Making excuses about why you did or didn’t do something doesn’t command respect in either case. Instead, it leaves you looking weak and confused.

  • Never whine or complain.

No one cares about your complaints. Seriously. The best scenario is that you might feel satisfied for a second or two, but even in that case, you’re making an awful and weak impression on everyone. No one, not even a serial whiner, wants to be around someone who whines or complains.

  • Never beg for love or attention.

First, you’ll not get far if you beg for it or try too hard for it. Second, the quality of that love will always be subpar. Try to be worthy of it instead.

  • Never be memetic.

Only dead fish go with the flow. Contrary to what you might be made to think, you can use your brain to think original thoughts and follow them. Remember: you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to be convenient all the time. Never adhere to blind conformity.

  • Never play the jester.

Speak less. There’s a fine line between people laughing with you and people laughing at you. Never, ever, be the latter. Even if you try to be serious later, people will put you down with contempt.

  • Never put all your trust in someone.

Or, at the very least, never let them know that you trust them completely; they’re bound to break it sooner or later. Keep everyone around you on their toes. Decentralise your trust and friendships. Less romantic, but the risk-to-reward ratio is better this way.

  • Never announce what you’re going to do.

Show them. Always. Talk comes very cheap. Everyone and anyone can talk, and most do, be the rarity who actually does things. Keep your goals and next moves to yourself. Make them announce themselves.

  • Never be a people pleaser.

There are far better and more long-lasting ways to command respect and affection. People pleasers are most of the time trying to please people for their satisfaction and insecurity, not for others.

  • Never be pompous.

Meaning never be too self-important, stiff, overbearing, domineering, magisterial or pretentious.

  • Never gossip.

Talking behind someone’s back was never cool and never will be. At the very least, never try to calumniate some or listen to slander.

  • Never correct grammar or pronunciation.

Incorrect pronunciation only means that they learnt it themselves. And if you have to, try to do it in a way that doesn’t make people feel bad or come off hurtful. Pedantry is a sign not of intelligence but stupidity. It makes you look smug and condescending, not smart and cultural.

  • Never brag.

A person of real intelligence and cultivated mind is generally modest. Brags or humble brags have underlining insecurity and a need to “fit in” and be liked. As a rule, try to speak of your business only when asked.

  • Never mind the people trying to pull you down.

They’re pulling you down because they’re already below you. Even communicating with them by definition indicates you are at their level.

  • Never try to win an argument by raising your voice.

Raise your argument. Never lose your composure or dignity. You’ll make more problems for yourself and inspire negative emotions by winning an argument by raising your voice. Your education should speak louder than your words.

  • “Never talk of ropes to a man whose father was hanged”.

Empathise. Avoid subjects that might be touchy. And if you do touch on such subjects with someone, treat it as sacred confidence that you’ll never betray to anyone else.

  • Never be a one-upper.

Nothing announces your insecurity more than being one-upper and trying to tell people that you’re better than them. It’s annoying and doesn’t command any respect from anyone. If you’re better than them, you won’t feel the need to announce it all the time in every conversation.

And a few never rules which are not directly related to communicating better but still indirectly make a huge difference:

  • Never become complacent.

You might not be a loser or lazy or boring, but you can get there faster than you can imagine by just being complacent day to day. That’s how you hit stagnation in your career, how your physical health deteriorates, how your relationships fade out, and how champions find themselves benched. Always be on your toes. Always be on the lookout.

  • Never lie to yourself.

As a rule, I don’t lie ever. It’s liberating for my brain because it doesn’t have to remember any useless details. But people are power-hungry and have to lie their way in and out of things. That’s fine, but if you keep doing it blindly, it soon becomes a habit that doesn’t leave you as an exception to your own lies.

  • Never forget your north star.

Your north star is THE idea or goal or principle of your life. It’s going to be there for you when no one else and nothing else will. This is what will make you go far in life. This will provide you with a sense of direction, purpose and belonging in a world filled with confusion.

  • Never put your health secondary.

No amount of money, friends or goals will ever compensate for bad health. Your body and physical health must come before anything else because everything else is only possible because of your physical health. You can’t have a good body language with poor physical health.